THE PORTAL: a novel (chapters 16 - 27)

CHAPTER 16
Thanksgiving. The weather was picture-postcard perfect. Night had descended and the first snow had arrived, leaving a light sheen across the town. Amelia was returning home from the after-school music club, her gaze on her feet as each step left what seemed like a tiny imprint in the thin layer of white.

Partly in honour of her mom, she had decided to take up the piano again. In the past, it had never really been her bag but for some reason her interest had been reignited and she found that the basics her mom had taught her had put her in good stead. Going to the music club was good for her because it took her mind away from other worries; the only thing to focus on was the piano.

Her worries had multiplied because there had been another incident similar to the one she had experienced in the basement with Jake. Again, she had felt dizzy and seen a disc of light hovering in her room. Again, she had sensed movement inside of it. Whether that hideous face had been there again, though, trying to force its way out into the world, she couldn’t say; Amelia had squeezed her eyes tightly shut so nothing more could be revealed to her.

She was only seeing her therapist once a month now. She hadn’t mentioned the incident at their last meeting and was considering whether she should mention it at the next one. Instinctively, she knew she had to. This was a big thing. (Wasn’t it?) But what would she say? Oh, by the way, I saw this light hovering in the middle of the room and a horrible face trying to push through it like it wanted to be born and that its only reason for living would be to kill me? And whilst I’m at it, I’m not sure I’ve told you about all the dreams I’ve been having. How would that go down? But Amelia knew she had to mention it to someone. She had intimated a lot of things to Jake but still not everything because she was worried what he would think, too. He knew nothing about her suicide attempt – very few people did. As much as her therapist told her there was no shame in what she did – that there was no shame in suffering depression or episodes of mental illness – she was still scared of how it would mark people’s perceptions of her for years to come.

She had gotten physically and mentally stronger since the incident but the anger was still there in her. She didn’t beat herself up with the question of ‘why me?’ She knew terrible things happened to other people (and animals) all across the globe on an hour to hour basis; she wasn’t unique, either, in losing a parent at a relatively young age. But the anger in her remained, bubbling beneath the surface. She felt cheated of her mother but had no one to get angry at other than life itself.

Glancing upwards, Amelia saw that a few light flakes were starting to fall again from the heavy purple sky. She started to scurry a little faster, turning her gaze momentarily back towards her feet…and walked straight into a human wall. She looked up to see Goatee and G-Man baring her way.

“Well, well, well,” Goatee greeted her with, grinning. “If it isn’t our little midget friend.”

“Wow, so original,” Amelia threw back at them sarcastically. “Pity you don’t realise that I’m a bigger person than you two will ever be.”

Goatee turned to G Man and laughed. “Bigger than us? Is it some kind of optical illusion that we’re just not seeing? Or maybe she’s expecting a growth spurt?”

“Yes, so hilarious again. I’m talking about being a bigger person in here and in here,” Amelia replied, touching her head then her heart.

“No, I reckon the G-Man still has bigger titties than you do,” Goatee laughed.

The G-Man offered his guffaws in addition. “Yeah, she has really small ones. Still juicy, though, I reckon.”

“I’m going now.”

“When we let you.”

“Do you bully other people like this?” Amelia accused.

“We’re not bullying you. We’re just conversing with a fellow citizen in the hope of wishing her a pleasant Thanksgiving.”

“Well, you’ve just done that now, so, like I said, I’ll be on my way.”

Amelia moved to barge past them but Goatee snapped out an arm and grabbed her forcefully around the wrist.

“You’re a pathetic little doofus!” Amelia spat at him.

Goatee kept his grip tight on Amelia and turned to the G-Man with a twisted smile. “She ain’t lost any of her feistiness, has she?”

“Uh-uh,” G-Man responded.

“But, then, this wouldn’t be half as much fun if she didn’t put up such a fight.”

Amelia could feel a rage building inside of her. If she could have killed both of them right here and now, she realised it was in her to see it through. She hated the injustice of the moment. It made her squirm to think that they felt they could use her as a play thing at their leisure.

She heard the bike before she saw it. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the mysterious biker pass along the street and pull over ten yards up the road facing the other way. It seemed a little incongruous that he would be out in weather like this. Not only that: he was in his usual garb with no obvious changes to accommodate for the bitingly cold weather.

The words came out before she had time to think. “You two are in for it now. Unless you let me go now he’ll be kicking your ass in the not too distant future.”

Goatee and G-Man looked to where Amelia was gesturing with her eyes.

“Oh, and you think he can take the two of us, do you?” Goatee scoffed.

“He’ll rip your face off.”

“Oo, I’m scared. You scared, too, G?”

“Quaking in my boots,” G-Man said.

“He’s not even looking at us. I bet you don’t even know that dude.”

“Sure I do.”

“Well, I’ve never seen him before. What’s his name, then?”

Amelia opened her mouth as if to speak, though there were no words for her to say. She knew suddenly that she was up shit creek without even the kayak. But then something resembling perfect synchronicity took place: as if on cue, the mysterious stranger suddenly got off his bike and looked towards the three of them. Amelia felt or imagined a shift in the air around her; something almost physical. At the same time she felt the grip on her wrist almost imperceptibly lighten and an air of doubt creep onto the faces of her two tormentors.

Despite the cold, the biker removed his helmet and gloves and continued to lean against his bike. For Amelia, it felt like everything momentarily stopped; even the snow. Then he started to walk their way.

Amelia felt her heart beat quicken, this time through exhilaration as opposed to fear. G-Man and Goatee didn’t stop to see why this leather-clad stranger was heading their way. Goatee relinquished his grip on Amelia and headed in the opposite direction with G-Man scuttling after him.

“I’ll be seeing you real soon, no doubt,” Goatee snarled back at Amelia.

“Frigging A,” G-Man added.

They were gone and out of sight by the time the stranger reached her. Accept he didn’t reach her. The words ‘thank you’ stayed unsaid on the edge of Amelia’s tongue. The stranger just kept on walking by as if oblivious to her presence. Had she imagined that he was coming for her benefit? She kept her gaze on him, the merest tinge of anger and regret clouding her emotions. As he took the corner, going in the opposite direction to her foes, he turned at the very last second and seemed to look straight at her. And was that the merest hint of a smile or had she just imagined it?

Amelia stood routed to the spot momentarily, her thoughts a whirl. Then she pulled her senses together with an air of determination, knowing that she needed to speak to him to find out whether she was imagining things about his intentions. She started to run after him vehemently, paying little attention to the slippery conditions. She skidded her way around the same street corner ready to bellow out to him: ‘wait, I need to speak to you!’ But the stranger was nowhere to be seen.













CHAPTER 17
Saturday afternoon: a cold, still December day. Trent was driving back home having taken Sam for a walk at a park out of town. He pulled up at a set of lights on the edges of Fallswood and saw Fay clamber off the bus up ahead of him laden with shopping bags. From some of the store names on the bags, he suspected that she had been to Stillwater mall about 30 miles south of Fallswood; this bus skirted the city outskirts and this was the closest stop to home. From here it was about a ten minute walk, though the stubborn patches of snow and ice along the route would have made it longer.

Trent waited for the bus to pull away before sliding up alongside Fay at the curb side. “Can I offer a lady a lift? Free of charge today to people in red hats.”

“Well, I qualify on one front at least,” Fay replied, flicking her eyes towards her head wear. She threw Trent a faint smile. “How do I know I can trust you, though?”

“Well, I could say I’m a teacher and thus an upstanding member of the community. On the other hand, I’m a man, so you can’t.”

“Tell me about it. I guess I’ll just have to take the risk anyway”

Fay slipped her bags into the back and herself into the front, saying hello to Sam who wagged her tail furiously at a friendly face.

“Nice of you to be out buying me my Christmas presents, by the way,” Trent joked.”

“I wish. I can barely afford anything for Jacob this year around never mind anyone else. He’s pretty grown up about it, though.”

They chatted amiably for the rest of the minutes it took to pull up outside their homes. As he switched off the engine, Trent found words coming out his mouth before thinking how Fay might interpret the implications behind them: “You want to come in for a coffee or something.”

They had both just discussed about having the house to themselves this weekend because Jake and Amelia were both away on overnight school trips. There was a long awkward silence and Trent felt compelled to back-track and try and fill it. “Sorry, that must have sounded like I was asking you in for… well –”

“Coffee?” Both of them laughed. “Don’t sweat it. I know you weren’t asking me in to jump my bones.” She looked directly at him with those large, brown eyes of hers. “Though, actually, I think on some level, you probably were.”

“I –”

“Can I be honest with you, Trent?”

“Sure,” Trent replied a little sheepishly.

“You’re a lovely guy. And I’m gonna put myself on the line here and admit that I am attracted to you and that for some reason – god knows why – I think you’re a little bit attracted to me.”

“Hey, don’t undersell yourself. Most men would –”

“Let me finish,” Fay interrupted softly. “In some ways – in many ways - I think it would be more than nice to just go inside now and climb into bed with you. Not even for the sex. Just to feel some warm, human interaction again - to have someone hug me who would actually genuinely want to. But we’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons. For different reasons both of us are a little bit lost; a little bit damaged. But what would be good for me – and for you, too, I’m guessing - would be to have a really reliable and caring friend who wasn’t a million miles away when you needed them. I’d rather be that to you instead of a guilty lover.” She leaned and kissed Trent on the cheek. “With that out in the open, I’d still love to come in for coffee if the invite is still available?”

“It most certainly is.”

The two of them hugged then got out of the car and headed towards the front door, Trent carrying Fay’s shopping.

Trent leant into her and completely deadpan said: “So let me just clarify here. I’m about to have coffee and not sex, right?”

Fay gave him a playful nudge in the ribs. “Asshole.”









CHAPTER 18
Amelia caught her reflection in the mirror and was momentarily taken aback: it was like looking at someone else. She conceded that the girl looking back at her appeared quite pretty but also a little aloof and awkward. The dress and the shoes just weren’t her; she wished she was here in her jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. It felt a little bit like she was playing dress-up.

Amelia was attending the school Christmas ball, stood in the gym which had been decorated with ornate mirrors, lights, decorations and a number of fake Christmas trees. Today, however, was also Jake’s fifteenth birthday, so she felt more inclined to believe that everyone was here to celebrate that.

As she stood there, trying to fake insouciance with a plastic champagne flute of non-alcoholic punch in her grip, it seemed that everyone else around her was perfectly at ease with the situation and their extravagant clothing. Sure, some of the boys still looked like little boys to her but most of the girls had a very adult-like presence about them. Instinctually, she knew she couldn’t be the only person here who felt like they were just playing grown-ups but it was proving to be of little comfort.

“You are Amelia Jane Karras,” she whispered under her breath, making herself stand tall. “You are as good and as strong as anyone in this room. Stronger, in fact.”

“You talking to yourself again, Miss Karras?”

She already knew from the voice that it was Jake as she spun around to face him. When she did, though, it took a brief moment to register that it was actually him. He wasn’t wearing his spectacles, his curly hair was slicked back with gel and he was wearing a tuxedo that didn’t look entirely like fancy-dress on him. “Wowsers, check you out,” she said to him. “You look great.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

“Thanks. You look, great, too. As always. Erm… beautiful, in fact.”

“Nah,” Amelia replied, looking down sheepishly, “but thanks, anyway. Actually, I feel a little bit uncomfortable in this get up; a little bit out of place.”

Jake seemed genuinely surprised. “Out of place? You? Get out of here. You’re a match for any girl here. Where’s that Karras confidence?”

“I think you were the only one that ever thought that existed.”

He put his hands on the top of her arms - bare but for the straps of her dress – and gently eased her shoulders back. Then he softly raised her chin with a solitary finger whilst turning her towards one of the decorative mirrors. “Tell me you don’t look amazing.”

She stared back at herself again. “I look ok, I suppose. It’s just this dress and these heals – they just aren’t me.”

“They are tonight. Ditto for me in this tux. Tonight, you’re a super model and I’m James Bond.”

Amelia laughed. “I like the sound of that. It sounds like all the self-confidence you think I have is suddenly with you tonight.”

“What can I say? I’m fifteen, baby. This is the new Jake Carroll.” He leant in close to her. “I’m still scared all the way to crap city, though, to be honest. So let’s go find Becky Johnson whilst I can still pretend I’m the man.”

***
An hour later, Amelia was watching the party go on around her, sat off against one of the walls, unable to shake the aura of self-consciousness. A lot of fellow students said hello as they passed by and she did her upmost to act happy and be friendly back. She wondered, though, whether she wasn’t giving off a vibe that said ‘I really just want to be on my own right now’. She wished Christa was here but she had phoned earlier to say she was sick and wasn’t attending.

Across the hall, she suddenly saw Jake chatting to a group of girls. He looked a touch nervous but his tuxedo-confidence seemed to be generally holding out. Looking closer, she realised that he was actually only focussing his attention on just one of the girls: Becky Johnson. Her two friends were loitering with a slight air of ‘can we go now’. Accept Becky looked like she didn’t want to go anywhere, that she was genuinely engaged in talking to Jake. Finally, her friends gave their apologies and started to drift away. As Becky turned her attention briefly to her departing friends, Amelia caught Jake throwing a brief, excited and guilty look in the direction of Becky’s chest. They were conspicuous even when she was dressed at her most demure; in the dress she was wearing tonight, Amelia realised it would be a feat of endurance for any teenage boy here – the gay ones included - not to throw them at the very least a surreptitious glance. Amelia would have been happy with half of what Becky appeared to have on show.

“You’re a naughty boy, Jacob Carroll,” Amelia whispered under her breath. “Go reel her in, tiger.”

Amelia got to her feet, realising that she needed to go use the facilities. She weaved her way through the throng of people in the gym and out into the corridor towards one of the bathrooms.

She entered as a gaggle of girls were exiting, finding herself alone with her thoughts, the room silent bar the distant hum of the party. She was only half-way through doing what she needed to do when the lights went out.

“Shit,” she whispered to herself.

She presumed the lights must have gone out everywhere because there were whoops coming from the hall: no doubt a mixture of excitement and fear.

Amelia finished what she had to do and got to her feet. She panicked slightly when she realised she felt a little woozy but she closed her eyes and fought it back. She reached out and fumbled open the cubicle door. There was no point waiting for her eyes to adjust because there were no windows in here. The bathroom was going to remain pitch black however long she stayed.

“Anyone else here?” she asked the room, pretty sure she already knew the answer. No reply came her way.

Then something moved in the darkness.

The flush of fear spread across Amelia’s cheeks. It was instinctive. Here she was, vulnerable, blind and no longer alone. Was she just imagining it? After recent experiences, she hoped that she might be.

Her heart was quickening but she told herself to stay calm. Washing her hands would have to go out of the window for once. She closed her eyes and concentrated on visualising where the exit was.

She had come in and out of this bathroom many times before. She knew that directly out of the cubicle that the wash basins were off to the left and that the partially mirrored wall was directly in front of her. And then from there, it was a right turn along a short alleyway to the entry / exit door on the left. Here and now, though, slowly shuffling through the blackness with her hands in front of her face, it felt like the world could have been changed around her. She realised how easy it was to be overcome with doubt. She knew the wall was only a few yards in front of her but she was already starting to doubt herself. She understood why people died in fires when the smoke disorientated and blinded them.

Amelia was reminded of her dream where she was being pursued through that awful cold and dark tunnel. She remembered the sensation of running into a wall and her arms crumpling and sending her body crashing to the ground. She remembered how her brain had so perfectly replicated the sensation of pain.

Now something brushed past her in the dark.

Amelia exhaled a breathless gasp, unable to find her voice to yell out for help. Then something touched her cheek. She tried to scream but something knocked the sound from her lungs: a rush of movement right next to her, millimetres from her skin, a powerful force hammering into whatever had been touching her. It was followed by a crashing impact on the floor and the sounds of violent struggle. The noises sounded barely human.

Terrified, Amelia continued moving forward, quickening her pace, having enough clarity of mind to hold out her palms and bend her elbows. She finally reached the wall, her palms sensing the cold smoothness of one of the mirrors. She turned right and moved quickly down the wall, sliding and pressing her arm against it. Again, it seemed to take way too long to get where she wanted to go but she ultimately connected with the door handle. She ignored the pain, sheer adrenaline getting her through. She grabbed the handle, turned it vigorously and yanked the door open. She spilled out into the corridor without looking back.

Out here, the lights were still off but moonlight was partially lighting the way through the windows. There were also a great number of students illuminating their immediate vicinity with their mobile phones and Amelia could see that a couple of teachers had flash lights. If this had been a dumb horror movie, Amelia realised, she would now be heading away from the crowd and getting lost in the dark again only to be pursued by her killer. She headed into the crowd to find safety in numbers.

Reaching the gym, there was still a cacophony of noise with people chatting away on adrenaline highs. The mood, though, was more excitement than fear now. As she scanned the room looking for Jake, she even saw that some were taking the opportunity to have a secret kissing session in darkened corners.

Amelia knew she needed to be out of here and needed to call her dad to come and get her. She had no cell phone with her. She looked for the nearest well-known face in her immediate vicinity and asked if she could borrow theirs to call her dad.

As the phone rang, she did her best to compose herself. She didn’t want to worry him and have him driving over here in a rushed panic. When he answered, she explained to him as calmly as she could about the electrics going out and could she please come and get him.

Amelia made her way towards the main exit where a lot of the other pupils seemed to have gathered with the notion of also being picked up. Many were even willing to brave the wait outside in the cold. After what she thought was an appropriate length of time, Amelia headed outside to look for her dad arriving. She hugged her shawl tight to herself, the cold snapping around her body like anti-armour.

She made her way through the array of cars and people. Reaching the last of the vehicles, she still couldn’t see Trent. With not having a watch, she wondered if she had given him enough time to drive from home to the school. She stood and looked back across the cars just to be certain that she hadn’t missed him. As she did so, she saw a figure clamber out from a side window of the school and run off at high speed into the darkness. This person wasn’t dressed for a school dance. He was dressed in leathers. She couldn’t be one hundred percent certain but instinct told her it was her mysterious stranger. A chill shot through Amelia’s body: she wasn’t sure whether it was from elation or fear. It seemed a fair deduction that he had been in the bathroom with her; but had he been there as her protector or foe?

Dreamily, Amelia became aware that someone was saying her name; shouting it. She turned towards the sound and saw her dad leaning his head out of the window of the jeep. She ran to him. Once inside, she practically launched herself at him, hugging him with all the strength she had left, the floodgate of her tears suddenly opening up.




CHAPTER 19
Amelia was overcome with a great rush of relief tinged with something bordering on total exhaustion. She slumped down in the sofa and rubbed at her eyes, partially to avoid looking at Jake.

The two of them were down in their basement getaway. It was the morning after the Christmas ball. Amelia had started by telling Jake what had happened to her last night. She had followed this by explaining more about her moments of sickness and the visions of light and horrible faces. It had come out of her in a mad and garbled rush – or had appeared to – with Jake sat opposite her in thoughtful silence. He remained in this pose right now.

“Aren’t you, um, going to say something?” Amelia put to him cautiously.

“It’s a lot to take in,” he replied contemplatively.

“You believe me, though, right?” Amelia wanted this to sound more like a statement than a question.

“Sure I do.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that?”

“Of course not. You know I believe in you.”

Amelia let out an involuntary sigh. “Good. That’s important to me.”

“I understand why it might have been difficult for you to tell me all this but…well, what were you worried about? This is me, right?”

Amelia fidgeted in her seat. She got up and went across to the mini fridge to get some juice. She stood there slowly and carefully pouring it. “I was worried what you might think of me.”

“I wouldn’t ever think badly of you, Amelia,” Jake told her.

“I just didn’t want you or anyone else thinking I was a fruit loop.”

“Why the hell would they think that?”

“Well, seeing lights and hovering scary faces and maybe or maybe not being attacked in a school bathroom…they’re just not your usual anecdotes of a fourteen year old, are they.”

“Well, no, but…but people see weird stuff all the time that isn’t really there. I mean, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and think I see things in the shadows. But it’s all just a trick of the mind.”

“And you know that for certain?”

“Well…yeah…I suppose.”

“You can’t prove that those things you see aren’t real,” Amelia argued.

“There’s a lot of crap I can’t prove.”

“There you go, then.”

“So what’s your point?”

Amelia managed to raise a smile. “I’m not sure I had one…There is another reason, though, why I didn’t want to tell you or dad or my therapist about any of –”

“Your therapist?”

“Yes, my therapist,” Amelia said tentatively.

“Is that something else you want to tell me about?”

Amelia looked away. “Like I said, I didn’t want people judging me.”

“I’m not people,” Jake replied.

Amelia paced for a moment, still not looking at Jake as she continued. “You remember I told you that we moved to Fallswood because of my dad’s job. Well, that’s true. But the reason he looked for that new job and wanted to leave New York was mainly because of me.” She looked back at Jake now, trying to gage his demeanour.

“I’m still listening,” he said kindly. “I’m sure you can’t have done anything that was –”

“I tried to kill myself,” Amelia interrupted.

Maybe it was just Amelia’s perception but an invisible fog seemed to fill the room; sound and movement were stodgy and difficult. Jake didn’t say anything. He slowly got to his feet and Amelia was certain he was about to leave. Instead, he headed over to her and put his arms around her without saying a word. He had hugged her only twice previously but it had always been in an awkward, teenager-imitating-adult kind of fashion. This time it felt genuine and she let the anxious rigidity of her body slip away into the warmth of Jake’s embrace.

He finally stepped back from her with his hands still touching her shoulders. He pulled the handkerchief from his pocket – the only boy she knew who carried one – and dabbed the tears from her eyes.

“Want to talk about it?” Jake asked.

Amelia nodded madly. Jake led her to the sofa and sat opposite. Amelia let the words spill out of her. It was cathartic not having to censor herself or worry about being judged. She felt she could tell Jake pretty much anything and everything now: all the pain of her mom getting ill and ultimately dying and what that had done to both her and her dad.

Jake never interrupted once throughout. He just sat and listened to her stream of consciousness. When she was done, her exhaustion seemed to deepen.

“Jeez, that was a lot of stuff you’ve been bottling up inside of you. I’m glad you’ve finally let it all out.”

“Thanks. But how do you feel knowing about all this stuff now?” Amelia needed to know.

“It just makes me feel closer to you. That I know you even better.”

“That’s good to know.”

Jake gave her a what-are-friends-for kind of shrug. “I know it’s nowhere near what you’ve been through with your mom’s death but I think I understand some of the feelings you went through that led you to try to…you know. My dad might be still physically alive for me but he feels – well, not dead – but a bit like a ghost to me.”

“Yeah, I know you’ve been through a lot of kaka yourself. I think that’s why we understand one another.”

“I think so, too,” Jake concurred.

“What about all the other things I’ve told you that have happened since?”

Jake shrugged. “Not sure. What I do know, though, is that most adults would just try and explain it all away. But there has to be something in all of this stuff. Let’s suppose it’s just supernatural.”

“Supernatural?”

“Why not?”

“I…I don’t know. No reason.”

“The world is pretty supernatural to begin with, right?”

“I guess.” Amelia let out a nervous laugh. “So do you think our mysterious biker stranger is supernatural, then?”

Jake shrugged again. “No idea. He could be your guardian angel.”

Amelia couldn’t help but smile at this notion. “You think?”

“Well, no, not really, but…well, there’s one way of maybe finding out.”

“How?” Amelia wanted to know.

“Let’s just track him down and ask him.”
CHAPTER 20
TK diary entry Sunday 18 December
Perhaps as a parent the worrying is always there to some degree or another. Picking Amelia up from the Christmas dance is still playing on my mind. The way she burst into tears when I picked her up – the way she needed my comfort – there was more to it than just the lights going out. She told me it was nothing to worry about, that it was just a succession of little things that brought out that emotion in her. I’m not quite sure I believe that but I can’t force the information out of her.

Well, anyway, here we are with Christmas just one week away. Once again, a year of my life seems to have disappeared into history with alarming alacrity. But that’s the nature of the beast: winning the lottery of life also comes with the small print that death wins out at the end of it. God, I sound so maudlin. I remember what my granddad used to say to my grandma when she bemoaned how quickly she seemed to be getting older: it’s the day you stop getting older that you really have to worry about.

I had a dream last night about junior league. Well, it was a re-run (what Hollywood would call a re-imagining) of a real game from my youth. In the dream, I was last man in. I was in Yankee Stadium. I needed a home run to win the team the game; anything else would be failure. The crowd were on their feet, cheering my name. The players I were facing were all adults – professionals from different periods of the game – but I was still a little kid in my junior league uniform. Nolan Ryan in his prime was facing me down from the plate. The ball came in like a bullet…I swung at it on instinct…hit it sweetly…and smashed it out of the ground. I trotted around the diamond with the roar of my name echoing in my ears. Kar-ras, Kar-ras, Kar-ras!

As for the junior high game that took place in reality, the same situation applied in that we still needed just one run to win. It was a championship decider and a draw meant the away team retained their title by default. I was the second to last man in: Robbie Jones – the fastest kid in the school never mind the team – was on second. All I really had to do was just stay in the game, not even hit the ball, maybe just scuff it along the ground – whatever - and the game probably would have been ours and I would have been the big hero. But those three strikes sailed past me in what seemed like a matter of seconds and all I could hear was the moans and boos cascading through the cheers of the away team. Sport was never my thing. During junior high, I tried out for teams and got on the periphery of squads just by sheer dogged determination. That baseball game, however, was the last I ever played.

The point is this: it got me to thinking how that game seems like such a brief period of time ago. I still remember who that kid was – what his hopes, dreams and fears were – like it was yesterday. And here I am quite a few years into adulthood, a widow and a father of a teenage daughter; a man on the verge of turning 40. (And, yes, having a birthday two days after Christmas still sucks!)

My birthday is something I haven’t particularly broadcast at work or the other circles I move in. (Hey, they’re pretty small circles these days!) And I haven’t kept quiet out of embarrassment because I’m one of these people who looks a lot older (or younger) than my years. I can’t complain: genetics have kept away the grey hairs but the lines on my face certainly won’t let me pass for thirty anymore. The truth is that I’m keeping quiet because turning 40 just sounds a little bit scary.

Maybe I’m just in a bit of a lonely phase the last few weeks (lonelier). I think this is partly amplified by the house looking so homely with the tree and the Christmas decorations. It’s only for Amelia’s sake that I still bother. Putting up the tree and decorations was always Sara’s job, with Amelia acting as her enthusiastic assistant. I’d chip in here and there but my real pleasure came from watching the two of them happily go about their task.

This year, at least Christmas day / dinner won’t be spent alone. Fay – with Jake’s blessing – has invited us next door. Amelia and I will get up and have breakfast together, take Sam for a walk, then we’re gonna take our presents next door and the four of us will open them all together. I haven’t gone crazy with Amelia this year and I’ve made sure that she and Jake have about the same amount of presents to open. Fay has been ok with me buying Jake a couple of inexpensive gifts to even up the numbers.

Since our little chat, Fay and I have been getting along great: I consider her to be a truly good friend. I can’t deny that I still find her attractive…and yet I don’t. It’s like a part of my brain has accepted that there will never be anything physical between us. Having that off the agenda has been good for us both.

Ella is a different matter. The more I tell myself to keep my distance, the more I am drawn in. That flirtatious element of her personality is very alluring and maybe I kid myself a little bit that she has some feelings towards me.

I’ve spoken to Fay about Ella a few times. Nothing wrong with a bit of flirting, she said to me. To cross the line whilst she still has a partner, though, would be inappropriate. There didn’t seem to be any hint of jealousy in her telling me this, with us discussing my attraction to another woman. She seemed to tell me as a friend…and as someone with experience of having a partner who has cheated on them.

Don’t cross the line, hey? Thing is, I might have already done that slightly. I haven’t told Fay about the work Christmas meal. Post meal turned into a few drinks: cokes and OJ for me. But seeing Ella a little drunk and becoming increasingly flirtatious was enough to keep my attention. By the end of the evening, there were only three of us left: Claude (a French teacher), me and Ella. When Claude made his move for a taxi, I concurred that it was a good time to call it a night. I didn’t want to be seen to be left alone with Ella, either. Ella reluctantly agreed to wrap things up, too. It made sense for her to share a cab with Claude considering that they lived relatively close to one another. She let Claude slip into the cab first before loitering momentarily to wish me goodnight. Her kiss, though – out of Claude’s view – wasn’t just a peck on the check or even just a peck on the lips. It was a passionate kiss, an exploratory kiss, her full lips searching mine…and I allowed myself to be found. And then she was gone, slipping into the cab, not looking at me, flashing me a last second wink as the cab pulled away.

I can still sense her mouth on mine, the slight wetness of her lip gloss, her breath intertwining with the scent of her perfume; it still seems to be lingering in my nostrils. I just need to be strong and stay away…don’t I?



















CHAPTER 21
Amelia was in the company of Jake on Fallswood’s village green. The setting resembled a picture postcard winter wonderland and was covered with a plethora of other kids and a smattering of adults. The place was a beehive of noise and excitement, with people having snow ball fights or building snow men or creating angels in the snow; elsewhere, grinning dogs bounded through the soft white blanket.

The mood was partly governed by the fact it was Christmas Eve; Amelia could palpably feel a buzz in the air. She could see the uncensored joy in the faces of the people around her, even the most cynical of the older teenagers. She guessed she was close to being one of those unadulterated cynical teenagers herself. But who could be cynical on the Eve of Christmas in a beautiful setting like this, Amelia considered. She always loved this time of year or at least had done so in the past. The last two Christmases without her mom had been incredibly difficult; this year, though, she had a sense of hope. She was genuinely looking forward to spending Christmas as some sort of family again even if that family was a makeshift one in the form of Jake and his mom.

“You realise tomorrow we’ll be practically like brother and sister,” Amelia thought out loud to Jake who was in the process of putting the finishing touches to his snowman.

“Erm. Yeah. Suppose,” Jake replied flatly.

“Hey, don’t sound so excited about it,” Amelia responded with a hint of good-natured sarcasm. “You said you always wished you had a brother or a sister.”

“Well, yeah, but not you because –”

“Gee. Thanks.”

“No, what I mean is that I wouldn’t want you as my sister because…well, you’re already my friend, aren’t you - my best friend.”

She smiled and gave him a soft, knowing punch on the arm. “Brothers and sisters can be friends, too, you know. Though to be honest,” Amelia continued deadpan, gesturing Jake’s snowman, “I think I like this dude more than I’ll ever like you.”

“Oh, ha-ha, is that so? Well, you’re welcome to him. See if you still like him better than me when he starts melting over you. Consider our friendship on hold.”

“Ok, consider this a peace pact, then.” Amelia grabbed up a handful of snow and forced some of it down Jake’s back, running off before he had time to retaliate. He pursued her, the two of them running wildly through the snow, letting off steam by bombarding one another with snowballs. Amelia hid behind another abandoned snowman and started to form a pile of ammunition. She was about to launch her assault but stopped when she saw the change of expression on Jake’s face. She followed his line of vision and saw Goatee and G-Man.

“Shit,” she whispered under her breath, the word slipping out on auto-pilot.

The two of them were with a couple of other guys: Grim and Grimmer, Amelia instantly dubbed them. They hadn’t spotted either Amelia or Jake but they were making nuisances of themselves. No parents or adults nearby did anything to correct their behaviour: they were either wary or just put their antics down to high spirits. Amelia, though, knew them enough to see that there was an aggressive undercurrent to some of their snowball antics. They seemed to be specifically targeting kids who were here without any adult or parental supervision, without making it too blatant just in case they made a mistake or crossed the line with someone.

“Let’s go,” Amelia said to Jake regretfully. He didn’t have to be asked twice.

As quickly as the snow would allow, they started to trudge their way from the village green in the opposite direction to Goatee, G-Man and their cohorts.

“Why do we have to keep running from them?” Amelia questioned, thinking out loud, anger in her voice.

“Because they’re assholes and bullies from crap city, that’s why,” Jake replied.

She saw him turn his head back and his body seemed to instantly stiffen.

“What is it?” Amelia asked.

“Don’t look back. Just keep going. I think they just spotted us.”

“Wowsers.”

The two of them quickened their pace, having to fight through the thick virgin snow that lay across parts of the village green. This then turned into the quickest run they could muster. From the green, they headed for Main Street, struggling to keep their feet in the icy conditions. They took a corner, heading in the direction of home…and almost collided with Jeannie May shuffling the other way. Both Amelia and Jake let out a startled gasp.

Both of them quickly re-set their footing and moved to go around her. But Jeannie May shot out a hand at a speed that belied her years and grabbed hold of Amelia’s wrist. Her hand was rough and withered like old leather, her grip surprisingly strong despite her delicate bone structure.

“Let go of her!” Jake snapped.

Jeannie May ignored him, her eyes exploring Amelia’s. Amelia noticed how her eyes didn’t seem to match her weathered face: they glistened with health and alertness and were probably the bluest Amelia had ever seen.

“Don’t be scared of me,” Jeannie May told Amelia.

“Sorry, but I am.”

“I’m not the enemy. But I’ve sensed for awhile that danger is coming your way.”

Amelia flicked a glance back towards the corner she and Jake had just taken. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s all still a fog in my head but it’s not all bleak. I see hope, too. But the danger is coming, all the same. Mark my word on that one. But I’ll do my best for you.”

“If you don’t let me go now right now, that danger will be here sooner than you know.”

Jeannie May seemed lost in other thoughts. “I’ll do my best for you,” she repeated, dreamily, letting go of Amelia’s wrist just as Goatee and his crew skidded around the corner.

“Well, well, well – what do we have here, then?” Goatee goaded. “You two pansies taken to hanging out with the town fruit cake, have you?”

Jeannie May seemed oblivious to it all. She started to head away from Amelia and Jake and through the crowd of boys like they weren’t even there. Goatee and his cohorts jeered and mocked her but she didn’t react. Only at the very last second did she stop and turn back to them. A serious expression took hold of her features and she looked at the four boys each in turn. Amelia found herself slightly mesmerised by it.

“There is hope for some here. Only for some, though. Others might perish, I fear. And soon unless paths are changed.”

“What’re you bleating on about, you withered old bag?” Goatee asked her.

She stared directly into his eyes. “Peter. Your name is Peter. Just like in the Bible. My mind is a fog. Change your path, Peter.”

With that, Jeannie May continued on her way, her demeanour returning to a state of solipsism. The attention of the boys turned instantly back to Amelia and Jake.

“Let’s turn them into living snowmen,” Grim suggested.

“I think maybe we should just bury them alive in the snow,” Goatee replied.

“Didn’t you hear what she said, Peter?” Amelia half-mocked and half-pleaded. “You need to change your ways or bad things are coming your way.”

“Did you tell her my name?” he asked her, his eyes narrowing.

“I don’t even know your name, Goatee. She knows your name because she’s psychic. And because she’s psychic she knows bad things are gonna happen to you unless you do something about it.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he threw back, feigning indifference. Amelia could see the flash of doubt in his eyes, though. “Right. Burying time.”

He grabbed Amelia and forced her down roughly onto the ground. She was vaguely aware that the same was being done to Jake. She fought against Goatee the best she could, kicking and scratching, forcing him to kneel across her arms and drop snow onto her face.

Both she and Jake were shouting for help but the boys around them were whooping it up even louder. If anyone was passing, they probably wouldn’t even consider that something untoward was taking place. They’d probably think it was merely exuberant pre-Christmas high-jinks. After awhile, Amelia decided that yelling was no good. The snow that Goatee was dropping on her was just going into her mouth and making it difficult to breathe. She felt hopeless, unable to lash or kick out with one of the others sat across her legs.

Suddenly, through the din, she became aware of a familiar sound: an engine. Instinctively, Amelia knew what that sound entailed. And yet she started to doubt herself when the torment seemed to go on and on, hands and knees digging into her flesh, making her feel like a helpless victim.

And then another voice cut through the mêlée, calm and flat, almost without emotion and without any discernible accent: “It is time to stop that.”

Everything did stop. No sounds came from this former microcosm of chaos. The only noises were the distant ones of Fallswood. Amelia felt movement, limbs digging painfully into her again as her attackers pushed up off of her. She frantically wiped the snow from her eyes and face, coughing to get her breath back. One of the guys was still holding down Jake; the other three were stood to face their opponent. Amelia shifted her line of view. The mysterious biker was stood there facing the others, dressed in his leathers, looking much shorter than his adversaries especially from the fact that he was stood in the road as opposed to the sidewalk.

“You talking to us?” Goatee put to the biker.

“I am,” he replied.

Grim flicked a reassuring glance amongst his companions before piping up. “What the hell has this got to do with you?”

“It just does,” the biker replied, still no emotion in his voice.

“And what’re you gonna do about it?” Goatee wondered.

“I would like to do nothing. I would like you to just walk away.”

Grim laughed. “Check this dude, out.” Grimmer and G-Man snorted laughter in reply. Goatee gave away nothing.

“And what if we don’t walk away?” Goatee wanted to know. “You think you can take us all?”

“Take you?” the biker replied, the merest hint of confusion.

Grimmer snorted laughter again. “I think this guy’s some kind of moron.”

“I want you to walk away,” the biker stated calmly. “I want you to please do it now.”

No movement. Goatee’s three comrades all laughed again but Amelia could palpably sense the shift of mood in the air. She looked towards Jake who was also staring directly at the biker, fascinated. The air was still. The biker stepped up onto the sidewalk and leant towards Amelia, offering her his hand. As Amelia reached up, Goatee stepped across to block the transaction.

“She leaves when I say,” Goatee said. His eyes were like slits.

“Sir, this is your last chance to step aside,” the biker said, his voice still devoid of emotion or accent.

Grim chuckled. “Sir, he says. Christ, listen to this dude.”

The biker extended his hand again to Amelia. “Come with me.” He turned to Jake. “You, also.”

Goatee snarled; erupted. “I said they leave when I say.” He moved forward quickly, positioning a leg behind the biker whilst half-pushing and half-elbowing him in the face, trying to force him to the ground. It didn’t quite work. As the biker stepped back, though, he slipped in the snow and the desired effect took place.

Sat there on the ground, Amelia saw that there was no shock or dismay on the biker’s face. He touched the spot where he had been elbowed in the face. “Pain,” he whispered. Amelia and Jake’s attackers laughed heartily, Goatee finally joining in.

“There’s a lot more where that came from,” Grimmer announced.

“Gentlemen, this is my last invite for you to walk away.”

“What’s with the way this dude speaks? What a grade-A douche bag,” Grim said.

For the first time, Amelia saw the merest flicker in biker’s face; something close to emotion. It was gone so quickly, though, Amelia wondered if she had imagined it. What came next was a blur. The biker sprang athletically to his feet and started moving forward in one swift action. With what seemed like the minimum of movement and effort, the four teenagers were on the floor. Amelia didn’t see him throw a punch or even really raise his arms. The others flailed at him but he just seemed to twist and duck and spill each of them to the snowy ground. Then he pulled Amelia and Jake to their feet and walked them towards his bike.

He jumped on and effortlessly started the engine. “Get on.”

Amelia did it without thinking. Jake looked at her.

“Amelia, what are you doing? It’s not safe. You don’t even have a helmet.”

“You will be safe,” the biker stated.

Jake heard movement behind him: the four teenagers getting to their feet.

“Get on the bike,” Amelia told Jake. This time he did as instructed.






CHAPTER 22
Amelia awoke to a desolate world, cold and naked. Her immediate vista stretched as far as the eye could see; it was scarred and ravaged, scorched and blackened with smoke and ash drifting in a grey sky. Everything in this world appeared dead.

She got to her feet and covered herself as best she could. There was nothing here to use to cover her body and shelter herself from the elements.

Suddenly, a soft whisper came to her, the wind carrying her name: “Amelia.” She turned and saw the biker striding out through the smoke towards her. She kept herself covered up but she somehow didn’t feel so exposed in his presence. He had a blanket in his arms. When he reached her, she let her arms drop to her side, naked in front of him even though his eyes remained fixed on hers. The world was silent but for her own racing heartbeat. Then he wrapped the blanket around her and she fell into his arms.

Amelia awoke into the real world this time, whatever that might be anymore. A brief moment of disorientation passed to show that she was cosy in her bed, her body experiencing sensations so different to her dream.

She remembered it was Christmas morning and felt a pang of child-like excitement. Part of this was to do with the day and who she would be spending it with; her excitement was also tinged with thoughts of the biker. Yesterday, he had dropped both Amelia and Jake off back at home. They had tried to ask him questions, none of which he had answered. “I will return soon,” is all he had said.

Amelia lay there replaying the scenes of yesterday over in her head, trying to pick out every nuance from the second she had heard the engine of his bike. She tried to remember the words he had spoken and how he had said them. The memories were like a ghost, drifting and ephemeral. And what did he mean about returning? Would he reveal anything? Amelia imagined what it might be like to have his hands on her skin; his mouth on hers.

The thoughts and images kept twisting through her brain: a bitter-sweet concoction. Unable to sleep, she got out of bed, slipped on her dressing gown and padded downstairs where Sam greeted her with a yawn, a stretch and a swish of her tail.

Amelia slipped on her boots and wrapped her dad’s long, thick winter coat over her dressing gown. She also pulled on his gloves and hat before letting Sam out into the back yard and joining her. It wasn’t yet light, the sky a patchy network of black and dark purple. She breathed in the invigorating cold air and watched Sam sniff and slowly explore the snow, her breath like plumes of dragon smoke.
***
The day went well. Amelia showered, dressed, ate a light breakfast and watched TV with Sam at her side whilst she waited for the day to break. It seemed like an age before her dad finally got up but they were on time in heading next door at 11 am as planned. It felt homely and right, the four of them taking it in turns to open up their presents. Even Sam seemed to happily settle in his next door environment.

Then the four of them ate their Christmas meal, turkey with all the trimmings followed by dessert. Amelia was enjoying the day but was still half-consumed with thoughts of yesterday. She could see it on Jake’s face, too. After they ate, they went upstairs, using the excuse of wanting to examine their presents more thoroughly.

“How you feeling?” Amelia asked Jake.

“Well, a little bit weird still,” he answered.

“Who do you think he is?” Amelia said, half thinking out loud.

“What do I think he is is probably more the question.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you think there’s something just a little bit odd about him?” Jake put to Amelia.

“How’d you mean?”

“Well, just the way he dealt with those idiots yesterday. And the way he speaks – did you hear him?”

“Sure. I thought it was kind of cute.”

“Right. I see,” Jake sighed. Amelia seemed certain now that he was a little bit jealous of her feelings towards the biker. “And then there’s the fact that he just showed up as if right on cue. Fallswood is small but it’s not that small. I still think there’s something, you know, weird about all this. Like I said, maybe even supernatural.”

“You really think that, don’t you.”

“Why not? You’ve experienced some pretty weird crap of late, don’t you think?”

“I guess.”

“So who’s not to say that we can’t describe all this as ‘supernatural’? Whatever that means, anyway.”

Amelia’s response was a shrug.

“Well, we can ask him when he –” Jake stopped dead. He was sat next to his window, looking down onto the street.

“What is it?” Amelia wanted to know. Jake didn’t respond. He just gestured with a movement of his neck for Amelia to come stand next to him. She did as asked and looked out through the window. The biker was parked across the street on his bike. Her heart dropped, her cheeks flushed and a rush of adrenaline surged through her body. “Oh.”

“See what I mean about him turning up on cue. The neighbours will probably call the cops if they see him just sat outside there on his bike for awhile. He looks a bit menacing.”

“Yeah, he does, doesn’t he,” Amelia concurred, a hint of a smile on her face. Jake rolled his eyes. “You think we should go down and talk to him?”

“How would we explain that to my mom and your dad? I mean –” Jake stopped again. The decision was taken away. The biker revved his engine and slowly rolled out of sight through the snow.

They both strained for a position at the window but he had already driven off out of sight. They went and sat on the bed, neither of them saying anything, Jake finally pontificating that maybe it was better that they stay away from him, that maybe he was a little bit dangerous.

“What’s that sound?” Amelia interjected with.

“I can’t hear anything.”

“I just heard something up on the –”

Both of them let out simultaneous shocked gasps. Terrifyingly, there was a face at the window, peering in. It took a moment to realise that the face belonged to the biker and that he was the one who had been on the roof.

“Jesus Christ, what’s he doing out there?”

“I don’t know. But go and let him in,” Amelia said, her voice wavering.

“No way.”

“He might fall.”

“He was the one who got himself up there in the first place.”

“I’ll do it, then.” Scared and excited, Amelia went across and opened the window. An icy blast of cold air greeted her from outside, rushing in to rage war with the heat of the room. She instantly shuffled backwards across the room towards Jake, instinctively grabbing his arm. The biker jumped gracefully into the room and closed the window behind him.

He strode towards them, not saying anything, stopping a few yards from the bed. “I have come to talk to you as I said I would,” the biker announced. Amelia and Jake involuntarily shuffled back on the bed until their backs were against the wall. “Please do not be afraid of me.”

“We don’t want to be,” Amelia admitted. “But you’ve just climbed in through Jake’s window which isn’t exactly normal.”

“Everything about you isn’t normal,” Jake chipped in. “The way you dress and speak and act. No offence.”

“I am…not from around here,” the biker replied.

“No shit.”

“You have questions.” It was a statement.

“No shit,” Jake repeated.

“Who are you?” Amelia asked.

“Call me Kai. Before we continue, I think Jake should leave. The less people this concerns the better.”

“Whoa there - no way. This is my room. And Amelia is my friend. Besides, I’m in on this all the way.”

Amelia flicked a glance between the two of them. “He’s my best friend. Jake stays.” Amelia saw Jake turn and look at her when she said this.

“Ok. Continue.”

“Where are you from?” Amelia asked.

“Difficult to describe.”

“Try.”

“Not here. Somewhere different. What you might call another dimension.”

Amelia and Jake looked at one another and started to exhale simultaneous nervous laughter. “I knew there was something supernatural about all this crap,” Jake expressed.

“How did you get here, then?” Amelia asked. “How do you travel from your dimension to ours?”

“Through a door,” Kai answered. Amelia and Jake laughed at this, too. Kai gestured the exit. “Not a door like this one. You might call it a window or a portal.” He looked directly at Amelia in a way that made her feel exposed. “But it was you who opened it.”

“Me?”

“You opened a door between your reality and mine,” Kai explained.

“Space time continuum crap!” Jake exclaimed, half thinking out loud. “I’ve read about this stuff.”

Amelia continued looking at Kai. “How did I open it?”

“When you died,” Kai said. Amelia was aware of Jake turning towards her. “You died briefly and opened the door. Like what you might call an after death experience. It happens rarely and usually the door is open only for a length of time so short you could not even measure it. With you, it was different.”

“How, though? And why me?”

“That we do not know.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Jake wanted to know.

“My people. Where I come from.”

“Are there others that have come through with you?”

“No. It is not that simple. The door has remained but it is not open perpetually. It is in flux. The fact that it remains at all is still puzzling.”

Amelia shook her head and laughed again. “This is all totally mad.”

“I know it is difficult to comprehend.”

“Can you just come and go as you please, then? Between the two worlds?”

“I am one of the few who can. Not many have my skills. But it is still difficult. Even for me. Timing is everything. It is also painful. Like dying.”

“So why are you here?” Amelia asked.

“To conquer the world,” Jake said, his tone suggesting he wasn’t entirely joking.

Kai looked at Jake. “I am here only to observe.”

“So you’re like ET, then, as opposed to The Thing?” Jake tried to clarify.

“This I do not understand.”

“You don’t mean us any harm, he means,” Amelia explained.

“My people are peaceful.”

“So you’re here to observe me, then? To find out how this happened?”

“Yes.”

“You said no one else had come through with you.”

“Yes.”

“Then who attacked me at the school?”

Amelia and Jake were startled by a sudden knock on the bedroom door. It was followed by Fay’s voice. “We’re gonna head out for a walk in five minutes, guys. Work off some of this Christmas pig-out.”

“Ok, mom. We’ll be down in a second.”

“Time for me leave,” Kai whispered.

“Will you answer my question before you –?”

With incredible speed, Kai was already at the window and gone.
























CHAPTER 23
“Howdy, partner.”

“What is it we’re doing here?”

“Don’t quote me on this but it looks like we’re dancing,” Ella replied.

“Right. I see,” Trent threw back. “I was thinking more about the bigger picture.”

“Yes, you always are. Sometimes you have to forget about the bigger picture and just concentrate on the details at hand. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment and let the future take care of itself.”

“Well, it’s a philosophy I’ve always admired, but…but why doesn’t this feel right?”

“It feels right to me. It feels good - being moved slowly around the dance floor with you whispering sweet nothings into my ear.”

“I’m doing no such –”

“Ha – got ya.”

“This is all just a bit of a game to you, isn’t it?”

Ella seemed genuinely hurt by the comment. “If you think I’m just playing with you - using you - then you don’t know me that well.”

“Sorry, that was a bit of a cheap shot, I –”

“You don’t need to apologise. I can understand why you might think that. Thing is, I think we should treat life like a game more often. I know from experience that life will kick you in the behind every so often without a hint of remorse.”
* * *

Amelia was out walking Sam, Jake by her side. Her dad was out for the evening and Fay had offered to allow her to stay over. Her thoughts brought a sudden burst of snorted laughter.

“What is it?” Jake asked her.

“Everything. Everything feel’s different, don’t you think? A bit weird.”

“How’d you mean?”

“Knowing what we know. Knowing stuff like…well, that Kai is from another dimension. It seems nuts.”

“Loads of people believe in God, don’t they? What’s the difference? Isn’t believing in heaven and hell just like believing in other dimensions? Though we still don’t know that Kai is actually telling the truth.”

“I think I do.”

“Because he’s your boyfriend?” Jake scoffed.

“No! I just feel…I feel that he’s truthful…I can’t explain it. And I don’t know why you’re so jealous of him.”

“I’m not jealous of him. I’m just looking out for you, is all. I don’t mind admitting that I’m a bit scared shitless by all this.”

“Tell me about it.”
* * *

“Thing is, all we ever really have is the moment,” Ella continued with Trent.

“Well, yes, that’s true but…but it’s also just a little bit too convenient. Society would be in chaos if everyone just followed their whims of enjoying themselves in every given moment. There are other people’s feelings at stake.”

“What if I told you that I think Mike and I don’t have a future together? Would that put a different spin on things?”

“Is that true?”

“Answer the question.”

“If you were single my doubts about this – about us - would be a lot less.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so clinical but…but the fact is you are in a relationship. And I haven’t started one for a long, long time.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“What makes you think that you and Mike might not have a future together? You love him, don’t you?”

“Well, sure, I like the guy a great deal –”

“Like?”

“Ok, love, then. Whatever that is. I don’t know. What is love?”

“Ask Howard Jones.”

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. Bad joke. All I can say is that if it was love, you’d know about it.”

“Would I?”

* * *
Amelia and Jake continued to walk in silence with Sam, circling their block, not straying too far from home. Even Sam seemed to pick up on their reflective mood, padding along slowly with her head down, turning occasionally to look at them both with big, sad brown eyes. Suddenly, though, it was as if a switch had been flicked. Sam’s body tensed, her hair standing on end, a low growl starting to slip from her jaws.

Amelia was a little bit freaked out by Sam’s sudden change in demeanour and did her best to placate her. “Good job, Sam. It’s ok now, though, you’ve scared them off. Good job.”

That’s when the street lights suddenly died and seemingly the rest of Fallswood’s electricity with it.

“Crap,” Jake whispered.

* * *
“I guess I’m just not sure of myself,” Ella admitted.

“Is that what I am, then - a test?”

“No, of course not. You know that I like you.”

“Do I?”

“Well, if you don’t, I’m telling you officially right now that I like you.” Ella sighed as if the cliché of a great weight had just been removed from her shoulders. “Wow, I’ve actually said it out loud.”

“If I said to you right now you could never lay eyes on Mike again, what would you say?”

Ella stumbled for words, “I’d…I’d be upset, of course, because –”

“Wrong answer.”

Ella seemed taken aback. “What do you mean, ‘wrong answer’?”

“You should be devastated.”

* * *
Amelia and Jake’s world was momentarily pitch black. They had to wait to adjust to the only light on offer: the stars and a full moon. Up ahead, something seemed to dart quickly across their line of vision, ripping through a slice of the shadowy darkness.

“What the -?” Jake half-asked but didn’t really want to know.

Amelia had no answers but Sam was suddenly growling - viciously - in a manner that she had never experienced before. She started to pull on her leash to the point where Amelia wasn’t sure that she could hold on for much longer. She was a trained and obedient dog but something out there in the night was overriding her usual nature. And then something else moved through the blackness…and Sam was gone, breaking away from Amelia’s grip.

Instinctively, Amelia started to run after Sam and Jake was processing the same instinct within less than a second. She could feel her heart pounding viciously in her chest; she felt scared of the situation but also terrified that something was going to happen to Sam. Her legs just kept moving on pure adrenaline; she could hear her voice yelling Sam’s name but it seemed somehow detached from her.
* * *
“Sorry, I’m messing with your head, aren’t I?” Ella put to Trent. “I can see that look on your face.”

“Actually, that’s more to do with…I suddenly felt a little bit sick, like a wave of nausea or something.”

“You want to sit down?”

“I think maybe I should just go.” Trent saw the disappointment in Ella’s face. “Sorry, I’m not trying to play games with you, either.”

“Ditto.”

“Perhaps you need time alone to truly think about what it is you want, then.”

“And what If I wanted you?”

The question seemed to snap out of the blue, surprising both of them. “Please don’t even say that just yet. I don’t want that idea anywhere near my thoughts if you don’t mean it. I mean, I can’t even make any guarantees to you. I still don’t know where my head and heart are at. I know I have strong feelings towards you but I’m not willing to let my guard down just to be a bit of fun on the side.”
* * *
How long had they been running? It was difficult to tell. Sam was nowhere to be seen and Amelia was getting increasingly panicked. Maybe it was just the lack of light but Fallswood seemed unfamiliar and intimidating.

They continued and Amelia felt a leap in her chest when she saw Sam in the distance in front of a chain link fence that blocked the entrance to a driveway. She was digging frantically at the earth, seemingly trying to claw her way under. Whatever the drive led to was obscured by high walls and surrounding trees.

Amelia suddenly realised where they were; that this was the old Carlton Gate house. Amelia realised she had been driven past this spot a number of times without ever really paying much attention to it. Jake had told her about the place. Town folklore – which Amelia had put down as a bogeyman type parent thing to keep kids in check - was that the owner had gone mad and that the place had been abandoned. The adage to the folklore was that it was a dangerous place and maybe even haunted. Jake had told Amelia that kids – him included – used to dare one another to break into the place. For the last five years or so, he’d told her, the driveway had been blocked off and getting over the wall and through the unkempt vegetation had become virtually impossible.

Sam suddenly disappeared under the fence before Amelia and Jake could reach her. Amelia instantly went to follow.

“You going in there?” Jake asked her, trepidation in his voice.

“I’m not leaving Sam. I’m going whether you come or not.”

“I think you already know where I’m going, then.”

She gave him the best smile she could muster and then scrambled through the gap under the fence. Jake followed.
* * *
“If you’re not feeling well don’t drive back to Fallswood. You said Amelia was staying over with the neighbour, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So why don’t you just stay over at mine, then. Mike’s away, so –”

“I don’t think that’s a good –”

“In the spare room. No monkey business.”

Trent cracked a smile; couldn’t resist. “Monkey business, hey? Who’s been telling you about my peccadilloes?”

She smiled back. “See, that’s the Trent we know and love.”

“Ok. Spare room it is, then.”

She offered him her hand and he took it, the skin warm and soft and inviting. Even though he felt a little nauseous in his stomach, it felt good to be sharing the simple intimacy of holding her hand. As they walked towards his car to take the short drive to Ella’s place, thoughts of Amelia came into his head. He had the strangest feeling and had a strong desire to call her to make sure she was ok. But he pushed aside his instincts to be the overbearing parent.

He handed the keys to Ella. “Home, Jeeves,” he said.



















CHAPTER 24
Amelia and Jake scrambled their way up the winding driveway of Carlton Gate house, the wind seeming to whisper through the trees. It felt like a warning to stay away. They finally reached the front of the brooding, quasi-gothic structure that seemed out of place in a town like Fallswood. It wasn’t quite mansion size, more like Graceland size but without any of the maintained grandeur. The stonework was dark and discoloured, paintwork untouched, windows broken and the garden unkempt and overgrown. Even in these moments, despite all that was happening, Amelia couldn’t help but momentarily think how sad it was that all this had been left to happen.

They reached the porch of the house and suddenly heard Sam’s barks reverberating from inside. Amelia put a hand on the door knob of the main entrance door that was already slightly ajar but did not instantly push it any wider. “I’m scared,” she told Jake, barely able to speak, her throat raw and dry from yelling Sam’s name.

“Me, too. Wanting a crap scared,” Jake responded as eloquently as the situation would allow, his body shaking. “But let’s do this, anyway.”


Jake was the brave one this time. He reached and pushed open the buckled and warped wooden door which scraped and squeaked across the floor in true cinematic fashion. It would have been standard fair in a horror movie; here in real life it was terrifying. Amelia tried to shout Sam’s name but all that came out was a hoarse whisper. Jake stepped in and shouted for her. When he did, Sam’s barking stopped and a cloying silence filled the air.
***
After he’d showered and brushed his teeth, Trent went to bid Ella goodnight before heading to bed. “I think I’m gonna hit the hay,” he told her.

“Sure,” she said, reaching out to him from the sofa. “Do I get a good night kiss first?”

Trent stepped across to Ella, leaning down to give her a peck on the cheek. Before he could pull away, her hand was on his neck, pulling his mouth towards his own. He wanted to be strong, to pull away from her, but the touch and the smell of her was too alluring. He started to kiss her back, giving into the moment. Before he could lose himself, though, the mood was broken by the sound of a ringing phone: Trent’s.

“Don’t answer it,” Ella whispered, her lips brushing against his ear as she spoke.

Trent pulled away from her slightly. “Let me just see if it’s Amelia.” Trent leaned across towards his phone on the coffee table. The screen revealed the caller’s name: Fay. “I should get this.”

Trent answered the phone and Fay was already in mid-flow before he had chance to say hello. She told him about the blackout in Fallswood and that the kids were out with Sam and that they should have returned by now. “I’m worried, Trent,” Fay admitted. He told her that he was on his way.

“Looks like you’re leaving,” Ella said regretfully, Trent already in the process of getting dressed. He explained the situation. “I’m coming with you,” she told him.
***
The house smelled like…if not like death then somewhere without life, Amelia thought to herself. Outside was cold but in here the temperature seemed to bite even harder, digging into her flesh with its uninviting touch. Ahead of them was a bare and barren reception area with a wooden staircase sweeping up to the second floor, Jake illuminating their movements with the light from his phone.

The only furnishings were the cobwebs and the dust that their feet kicked up with each step forward. Again, Jake called out for Sam, involuntarily holding himself back, frightened of what attention he might attract in such a foreboding setting. That’s when they heard Sam’s whimper coming from upstairs. Amelia and Jake symbiotically looked at one another with the knowledge that they had to climb those stairs and climb them now.

They started to ascend the stripped wooden staircase, each creak like a howl echoing around this shell of a house. “Sam,” Jake said again, pleading.

They reached the top of the stairs and saw Sam down the end of the corridor to their left, nosing and scratching at the door. They ran towards her just as the door clicked open followed by Sam entering the room. Amelia and Jake reached the open doorway. The darkness seemed to be a physical presence, thick like fog, the light from Jake’s phone barely cutting into it: there were no visible windows to let in the moonlight from outside. Together, they stepped into the unknown.
***
Both Trent and Ella could see that Fallswood lay in almost perpetual darkness as they drove into town. Only when they moved through the streets did they see that some lights were still on, probably from personal generators or candles. Quite a few people were out investigating the situation with flashlights. This scene of normal human activity put Trent’s mind at ease. This was a blackout in sleepy Fallswood and not the depths of the inner city, after all.

“They’ll be fine,” Ella said to him, reaching to touch his knee. It was a sentiment he wanted to believe and felt more inclined to do so now.

They drove to the house and went straight to see Fay. Introductions were made. Was it Trent’s imagination or did he feel a slight frisson between the two women. In his head, it was as if these two people knew one another and were friends because both were so entwined in his current life. It suddenly dawned on him they both knew of the other but had never actually met before. Their exchange loitered in his mind for a moment: ‘Trent has told me so much about you,’ Fay said. ‘Likewise,’ had been Ella’s response.

Fay explained that the walk with Sam had only supposed to be around the block which would have only taken them about ten to fifteen minutes. It was now well over an hour since they had gone walkabout. Amelia had no phone and Jake’s had been tripping to voicemail. Their plan was to go out and look for them.
***
Amelia could feel the gooseflesh cover her skin and a cold rush flushing her cheeks. She was holding Jake’s hand which was both clammy and ice cold. She tried to call Sam’s name but her voice remained hoarse, the word a strangled whisper slipping from her sore throat. Jake said the words for her but there was no response and no movement. It felt almost impossible to gage how big the room was but she knew it had to have limits: didn’t it?

Suddenly a low growl cut through the silence. This was followed by movement across the floorboards accompanied by a rush of cold air. What sounded like impact stopped Sam’s growling and she whimpered in pain.

“Bastards!” Amelia tried to yell. “I’ll kill you!” She was surprised at her own emotions, tears welling in her eyes. She was aware that Jake was yelling, too; petrified. He swung his arms in a wild effort to defend them from what might be out there. The light of his phone swung with him. In the darkness, Amelia saw something against a back wall: three human figures stood there, their heads hairless and bowed to the ground, their faces obscured. Amelia grabbed Jake’s arm and turned to the light back to what she thought she had seen.

She stared and Jake stared with her, fighting for breath at what they were seeing. And then that newly familiar sickness came over her and a circle of light was born into the darkness. ‘Fight it’, was the mantra in her head. The waves of nausea made her knees weak but she grabbed onto Jake’s arm for support to ride the sickness out.

The circle of light started to pulse; there was movement inside of it. Then a face started to appear. Amelia realised how hypnotic the sight was and forced her and Jake to look away. She grabbed his wrist and started to move his phone to scour the room for Sam. She saw a glimpse of the figures on the back wall. In unison, she saw all three of them raise their lumbering heads to reveal human-esque faces, almost demonic, their white expressionless eyes staring into the darkness. Amelia screamed a silent scream.
***
Trent’s stomach was churning as he and Ella drove slowly around the darkness of Fallswood. Neither of them spoke. What was there to say? A part of him suspected that Ella thought they were overreacting to the situation but he sensed that something was wrong. He felt helpless but at least this was better than doing nothing. Fay was in her car, taking other routes. The deal was to phone one another if they spotted anything.
***
Suddenly, as if answering her inner prayers, Sam was suddenly at Amelia’s side. She looked tired and submissive, her previous fight drained out of her. Amelia grabbed the leash with one hand and Jake with her other. Then she turned to run, the erratic light from Jake’s phone guiding them out of the room, down the corridor and down the staircase.

The whole situation had a dream-like quality to it but a terrifying one. For Amelia, it was as if her body were being controlled by a third party. Her legs were propelling her forward but she wasn’t quite sure how. She started to feel that all her terrible dreams had been a premonition to a nightmare more based in her reality, whatever form that reality might now be taking. It felt like all the old rules were out of the window now.

They reached the gate. Amelia gestured for Jake to scramble under first and then passed him the leash to drag a tired Sam through. Amelia followed but got herself snagged. She started to panic, unable to think straight, convinced that something was going to grab her and pull her back towards the house. Something did reach and touch her but it was Jake, freeing her clothing from its snag and dragging her through to join them.

They sat there exhausted, trying to get their breath back. The world was silent again bar the noise of the wind intermingling with their heavy breathing. That’s when they heard Jake’s phone start to ring.
























CHAPTER 25
Amelia woke up in darkness under a canopy of twisted trees that seemed to be questioning why she was here in such a god forsaken environment. And then the trees started to wilt away into nothingness like the earth was dying. Instead of being in a forest she was in a room: a cellar; cold and stark. And those horrible, lumbering figures were lined up against the bricks. Amelia awoke in a panic.

She reached for her phone and called Jake. “We need to tell them,” was all she said when she answered.

Yesterday evening, after being picked up by her dad, Fay and Ella, there had been a flurry of questions but both she and Jake had been too emotionally and physically drained to answer any of them. Amelia could see how much worry they were causing but what could they say? After a sleep, as restless as it was, Amelia felt they had to share the burden whether it was believed or not. She wasn’t even sure what to believe herself.
***
She convened her dad, Jake and Fay almost like she was having a press conference. Where do I begin, she wondered? I guess I just start talking. She directed most of her conversation at the floor. She told them about the dreams and the incident at the school and about Kai and finally what had happened at the old Carlton House. Jake chipped in with all the things he could corroborate. Both Trent and Fay did not say anything whilst she was talking.

Washed out, Amelia slumped down on the floor next to Sam, stroking her, her eyes still fixed on the floor. It was Jake who seemed agitated and needed a response from the adults present in the room.

“What do you think?” Jake put to both his mother and Trent.

“It’s a lot to take it, Jacob,” Fay answered.

“You don’t believe us?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I think we believe that you believe it, kiddo,” Trent added.

“You should have seen how Sam reacted up at the Carlton House and she’s the most placid dog I’ve ever met. She was freaked out and scared. I was freaked out and scared. Crap your pants scared. I still am. You would be, too, if you’d seen what we did up there. I’d tell you to go and take a look for yourself but…well, no way would I really suggest that because something totally wrong is happening up there. I suppose Kai could convince you, though.” Jake said this whilst turning to Amelia for support.

Trent turned to his daughter, too. “You mentioned this Kai character. Who is he exactly?”

“Like I said, we don’t really know.” Amelia laughed at what she was about to say; how ridiculous it would sound. “Just someone we know from another dimension.”

“Is that what you really believe?”

She shrugged. “It seems possible to me after everything that’s happened.”

“Kai could convince them,” Jake reiterated.

“We don’t exactly have his phone number.”

“True. But whenever you’re around, he’s usually not too far away.”

***
Later. After dark. Both Amelia and Jake were in their respective beds and Trent was around at Fay’s. Trent expressed his concerns for his daughter. He didn’t go as far as telling Fay that Amelia had tried to kill herself but he did hint that she had been through more trauma than just watching her mother die.

“How do you know they’re not telling the truth?” Fay put to Trent.

Trent laughed involuntarily. He looked at Fay and saw that she wasn’t joking. “You mean, that they think they’re telling the truth.”

“Isn’t your job as a teacher to keep an open mind?”

“My job as a teacher is to teach kids facts.”

“Sometimes facts aren’t set in stone. I know my son, Trent. He’s a little bit of a dreamer – I used to be that way at his age, believe it or not – but he’s honest as the day is long. I saw how genuinely scared he was earlier on.

“I’ve gotten to know Amelia pretty well, too, and she strikes me as a girl who has her head screwed on. She might have been through some troubles but she seems like a girl with a lot of resilience. And I believe them. Maybe they’ve gotten it all wrong about what’s been happening but it’s definitely something that’s deeply troubling them both.

“Sure, talk of other dimensions just sounds like silly teenage fancy but…well, we believe in God, don’t we?”

“I live in hope,” Trent interjected.

“So we can’t have it both ways. I’m not saying belief in God leaves me open to anything-is-possible. Believe me, I have a cynical streak in me a mile wide,” Fay snorted, “and not just because of my asshole husband. But I keep an open mind. I try to, anyhow.”

“So what now?”

“I don’t know. I guess we just look out for them the best we know how to.”







CHAPTER 26
A rhythmical tapping brought Amelia out of her shallow sleep. Her heart dived in her chest when she realised the noise was coming from her bedroom window. Her first instinct was to run; to hide. But where? This fear was replaced by anger. This was her home – her bedroom – and no one (or thing) had the right to violate that. She grabbed the claw hammer that she had recently started to keep in her bedside cabinet. Then she went towards the window without thinking, her body carried on instinct.

She could feel the violent, quickening pulse of her blood. She could feel the sweat on her skin and the claw hammer wanting to exit her grip. Amelia stood as far back as she could whilst still being able to reach her drapes. She yanked them open. That’s when she screamed.

There was a figure out there on her roof, staring in through her window. It took a moment for her to realise that it was Kai. She quickly moved to open the window but she heard movement from within the house: she suspected it was her dad coming to see that she was ok, possibly awakened by her scream. Amelia gestured for Kai to stay put and closed the drapes. Then she moved as quickly and quietly as she possibly could to get back into bed.

There was brief, soft rap at her door followed by her father’s voice: “Amelia?”

“Hi, dad. Sorry I woke you. Just a dream.”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Trent popped his head around the door. “You gave me a bit of a scare.”

“I gave myself one. It’s fine now, though. I’m ok.”

He came and sat on the bed, brushing the hair from her face. He suddenly looked concerned. “You’re sweating like you have a fever.”

“It was just the dream. Honestly, I’m ok.”

“Well, you know where I am if you need anything.”

“Totally.”

Trent kissed her forehead then got up, forlornly leaving the room. That look was like a fist around Amelia’s heart. She waited a few moments after he had left the room, consumed momentarily by a deep sadness. Then she shuffled back to the window to let Kai in.

She was startled to suddenly realise what kind of state he was in: battered and bloodied. She led him to the chair at her desk and eased him in.

“What the hell happened to you?” The words came out Amelia’s mouth in a mad flurry. Kai had to ask her to repeat again; English wasn’t exactly his first language, he explained.

“Does not matter what happened to me. It is more important what might happen to you. I think I need to take you away from here.”

“Now?”

“If not right this second then soon.”

“I can’t just up and leave, I –”

“I think you are in grave danger.”

“You need to explain more than that.” She put a hand on his cheek. “Tell me what happened to you.”

He reached and gently removed her hand, holding it momentarily, his usually blank expression suddenly quizzical. “I am not used to this.”

“Not used to what?”

“The sensation of touch. The sensation of pain. We’re not the same as you.” He looked down at his arms, turning them, his expression like that of an amputee whose arms had re-grown overnight. “We are not physical creatures in the sense that you would understand. I am not a shape shifter but here – in this world - this is my body. At home, it would not be.”

“Tell me what happened to you,” Amelia reiterated.

He took a breath and composed himself. “I went to the house. They have found a way to get through the portal on a more sustained basis.”

“What will they do?”

“Perhaps they just want to experience the pleasures of the flesh in this world.”

“Is that so bad?”

“There would be more. They are not here for a pleasant visit.”

“They want to do us harm?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It is their way.”

“They’d hurt me especially?”

“They will not kill you. But they will take you and study you. Find out why you are the key. Hurt you in the process.”

Amelia felt the sadness well up inside of her, visions of going on the run floating into her head. When she spoke, her voice was distant and dreamy. “So you’re like the Terminator to my Sarah Connor?”

“I do not understand.”

“Doesn’t matter…I don’t want to run, Kai. I can’t leave my dad.”

“You have no choice.”

“I’m too tired to run.”

“You will find the strength.”

The door suddenly crashed open. Amelia turned, expecting the worse. It was her father stood in the doorway, cast in silhouette from the light from the hallway. There was something heavy in his hand. He flicked on the light and she saw the look on his face: a look of grim determination that frightened her slightly.

“Please, dad, it’s ok. This is Kai.”

“Well, I think Kai made a mistake coming here.” Trent looked towards the open window. “I think he might be leaving the same way he came in.”

“Kai is here to help me.”

Trent stepped forward then seemed to soften when he saw the battered state that Kai was in. “What happened to you, son?”

“Long story.”

“Try me.”


















CHAPTER 27
TK diary entry Wednesday 1 February
February already? What did January go? Wasn’t it Christmas just a couple of days ago? This month brings a lot of conflicting emotions: Amelia’s birthday and the second anniversary of Sara’s passing. Ella’s birthday also falls in this month.

It’s the early hours of the morning; I can’t sleep. Outside, though, the world goes on inexorably as normal, seemingly at ease with itself, wrapped in a thick white blanket of snow. Most people will be asleep, lost in the dreams. Others – the early risers – might be going on about their daily business of showering or making coffee or reading the Sunday papers in bed or perhaps even making love. I envy all of those people and the simplicity of their desires for the day.

The way I feel this morning is like the way I felt when Sara was in her sickest days in the weeks leading up to her death, the weeks when my tactic of denial would no longer work. Some part of my head had always known that she would get better – I mean, how ludicrous to think that she could actually die and go leave me and Amelia alone – but this, of course, was nothing more than a psychological smoke screen to help me get through the days. It’s not a tactic that continues to work when someone you love is literally crumbling away right there in front of you, drifting away from you like gold dust slipping through a beggar’s fingers in a storm. And the more you try to hold onto this precious thing, the more it kills you inside to know that your efforts are futile.

So this is how I feel. It doesn’t quite match those barren feelings from the hours and days and weeks after her death because that I can’t even put into words. But my feelings certainly match that time leading up to her death.

So the world goes on as normal, like I said; the things I’ve recently been told have turned my head upside down. The things that Kai told me last night – actually just a few hours ago – sounded like utter teenage nonsense. And yet I find myself leaning towards having to believe them. I have always been open to the idea of the mystical and the fantastical, to religion – call it what you will – but the intellect in me always won out; my intellect always sneered at it. But that young man had an air about him that just wasn’t quite…human? It gave his bizarre story an air of plausibility. And it wasn’t just the way he spoke. And it wasn’t just the way he leapt down off the roof from Amelia’s window when he seemed barely fit to crawl. It was deeper than that, some ineffable quality that made me believe him.

So what now? How do I protect my daughter? For what it’s worth, I’ll try to do it until my final breath.